Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted. 
 

Q: Why is a blondes brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: because is swells in the night...

 Q: Why did the tomato blush:

A: because is saw Mr Green pea over the fence

Q: What’s the difference between mash potatoes and pea soup?

A: Anyone can mash potatoes....

Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a pea?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grump-pea.

Q: Why is a pea small and green?
A: Because if it was large and red it would be a tomato!

Q: Why did man put vegies all over the world?
A: He wanted peas on earth.

Ode to peas

Whatever else on land or seas, could measure up to frozen peas?

Available the whole year through delectable and good for you.

Inside their vibrant emerald skins they’re packed with wholesome vitamins. And fibre too! What else can beat a veg that even kids will eat?

Unlike the hapless lover who may not be always there for you your frozen peas, reliably, are there for supper, lunch and tea,

Inside their plastic bag concealed as fresh as when they left the field,

They bring a breath of summer air to seasons when the trees are bare.

And think of all the time they save –

Three minutes in the microwave is all they need to reach the state that makes them perfect for the plate;

So soft and tender, sweet in taste and not the smallest scrap of waste,

They really are an easy way to help you get your five a day.

But like the bridesmaid to the bride don’t always keep them to the side.

Ambitious cooks let frozen peas play starring roles in kedgerees,

In winter, when their spirits droop they serve them with smoked ham in soup, or in risottos, crushed with fish, they play their part in any dish.

Yes, flavoursome food of the gods, as fresh and when they left their pods,

Let’s raise our glasses, give a cheer for food that serves us well all year,

But would you just remember please

That if you’re served with frozen peas and want a long and happy life -

Don’t ever eat them off your knife!

by

Judy Theobald

Great Literature
War & Peas  Leo Tolstoy

Pea-owulf
Franklin Dove

Pea-ter Pan - J M Barrie

Songs
Give peas a chance John Lennon

Peas in our time
Cliff Richard

Peas on Earth - Hi Tension 

Artists
Pea-Diddy

Pea-J & Duncan

Pea-M-Dawn

Pea-ter and Lee

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